Front or Back

It has to be said that some of the team take things more seriously than others. On the last night we had a report of a possible sighting of some locals trying to get in. I drove Zippie, Guilty and McVicar (if you are not a Greenbelt regular then I have to promise you that these are the real names) up to the nearest point (via a rather nice scenic route) then we got out to walk. It was dusk as we started traipsing across the field in a line - McVicar first, then Zippie then Guilty and myself. As they walked ahead of us they lined up so well that McVicar vanished from view, eclipsed by Zippie (more because McVicar is small than Zippie is big).

And I said something along the lines of "they're picking us off one by one". Almost at the same time Guilty and I thought of the same thing, a scene from Red Dwarf, I suspect from "Polymorph" but am ready to be corrected. In it the four "heroes" are hunting, or being hunted by, an alien. As they walk along someone says it is always the person at the front who gets killed first. Rimmer therefore tries to get to the back. But someone else says that it is always the person at the back who gets picked off. This leads to a dilemma for Rimmer as to where in the line he should stand. And I believe that Guilty and I did a very good re-enactment of the scene which entails a certain degree of running around in circles trying to be at both the front and the back at the same time.

I am fairly sure I heard McVicar tutting.

Later correction (before anyone beats me to it): In fact it was "DNA" and the script goes like this:

RIMMER and KRYTEN are about to venture down a darkened corridor. RIMMER pauses, cowardice writ large upon his features, then turns to KRYTEN.

RIMMER: Uh, Kryten, take point. I've seen those movies. It's always the guy in the lead who buys it first. You take the front.

KRYTEN: Well, if it's movies we're talking about, sir, in my experience it's usually the poor fellow who's bringing up the rear that gets picked off first, so the others aren't aware that they're under attack.

RIMMER: You're right, you're right. Can you take the front and the back, so I can go in the middle?

KRYTEN: I'll do my best, sir.They advance down the corridor cautiously.

KRYTEN, in front, shufflesround to the back, then he and RIMMER sidle around one another. They proceed in this fashion down the corridor, KRYTEN alternately taking point and bringing up the rear, whilst RIMMER looks out for any kind of danger.