Bad Words

I am considering sueing for slander. 11 days ago I woke up with a swollen elbow. Well, woke up, I didn't really sleep much because my elbow was so painful during the night. I went into work and made a joke that I had golfers elbow from playing Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2008 (and that is obviously not Tiger Woods in the picture to the right) on the Wii. As the day progressed my elbow became more swollen. Next morning swelling slightly reduced (only three times bigger than it should be) so I went in to work but came home early because it was very painful. Now, I say came home early, but I came home and worked, it was simply more comfortable to use the laptop at home. After that I was not going to be in work (as in "in the office") for the rest of the week or this week anyway as I was working off-site. Note I WAS WORKING. Every single email I have received between then and now, every single phone call, has been answered. I repeat, I WAS WORKING.

Anyway, as to the elbow, I could use it, bend it, generally wave it around as normal, even play golf shots, but it was the back of my elbow that was three times bigger than it should be, burning hot and thickened, not the joint capsule but the soft tissue. I had an infection, cellulitis to be exact (advantage of being a vet, I can self-diagnose). By Friday I deceided it wasn't going to improve on its own and went to the doctor for antibiotics, who happily obliged and wondered why I hadn't come in earlier. So the Wii was vindicated, it wasn't an injury but infection.

Now back to what is happening at work while I am away. Rumours start. By the end of this week it turns out that everyone is saying I am off work sick because of playing on the Wii. I am fairly sure I know who the culprits are, one of whom is actually telling people I have a urinary infection (if you know how to pronounce Wii then you will understand). And I intend to sue for defamation of character. Can anyone point me to a good lawyer?