And Another Thing...

I missed off something else.  I missed it because it hadn't really registered as that exciting.  But I just used Wiki and that has changed my mind.

I WAS STANDING NEXT TO TOM HOLLANDER WHEN HE BOUGHT A SAUSAGE!!!!!

OK, maybe that sounds a bit weird.

So, Tom Hollander was at Greenbelt this year, and he was doing a bit of filming.  At this point I should put my hands up and say that a) I don't normally get that excited by "celebrities" and b) I usually can't recognise them anyway let alone know what they have been in.

On with the story - it was lunch time and I wondered what to get.  I thought I would try the Westmoreland and Cumberland Sausage company.  I went and stood in the queue.  Slightly annoying, I thought I recognised the person in front of me.  I racked my brains - had he been in my team in a previous year, did I know him from work, even was he a client when I was in practice near here.  All drawing a blank, but I was sure I knew him.  Just as I was about to tap him on the shoulder and say "excuse me, do I know you", someone else walked over and tapped him on the shoulder.  Then they said a weird thing, they said "can you turn more this way".  Odd.  I looked, and there was a film camera.  Penny dropped, this must be the person they were filming (OK, another admission, at this time I didn't know this was Tom Hollander, I had just got as far as realising this was an actor).  We worked our way up the queue.  He went to buy a sausage, but him couldn't quite nail the character, so he wanted to take a moment to compose himself, he told me to go in front of him.  And then, while I was waiting for my sausage, he came to the counter and ordered two, one with onions and one without.

I wandered off, mildly amused but not particularly excited.  I've been on TV before.  I've been interviewed by Sky and the BBC.  So this didn't rank far out of the ordinary.  I did google up the programme and found that it was Tom Hollander.  But this still didn't mean much.  Until just ten minutes ago.  For "J" I thought I would google a picture of Tom Hollander.  I did.  And OMG, he was in Pirates of the Caribbean!!!!!!!!  And I nearly asked him if he had worked in the Support Team!!!!!

So, if you ever see a programme with Tom Hollander buying a sausage then look for me in the background.  I'm the one in the hat.

Greenbelt

I seem to have missed off blogging about Greenbelt this year.  Not entirely sure why.  Maybe it's because I didn't feel I needed to provide Squeak with running commentary as she came as a punter.  Maybe my mind is on other things.  Maybe there was so much water in the form of rain that I was worried it would short circuit any equipment that could access the internet.

Whatever the reason, it was a good year.  As always it went too quickly.  A blink and it was over.  Were there any highlights.  Well, in no particular order:

1)  The campsite sweep - for certain reasons we ended up doing a sweep of the main campsite.  In previous years it has fallen to our team to sweep the helicopter field on the Friday night.  Slight change this year so we ended up doing the central racecourse.  Never again springs to mind.  The helicopter field is a nice rectangle.  Easy to plan, easy to sweep.  The central racecourse is completely out of shape.  Trying to ensure that the sweep is in a straight line, well spread out, and all areas are checked is next to impossible.  No wonder we didn't finish until nearly 0400 hrs.  And to cap it all we didn't get to use the golf buggies!

2) The team of doom - they know who they are.  An all female pairing which worked together for two nights.  They didn't even need to go looking for things to do, trouble came to them.  We'd turn our attnetion elsewhere for 5 minutes and the Team of Doom would pick up yet another shout.  Even when all else was quiet they were managing to find lost children, burning installations, and just general chaos.

3)  Chinese lanterns posing as the ISS - there were a lot of chinese lanterns being let off this year from around the campsite or from outside the campsite.  One team seemed to make it their sole purpose to report these.  However, in an interesting twist, when they were actually asked to investigate one such incident then they quickly decided that it was the International Space Station passing overhead.  Which led to the classic retort from Control "only if its on fire!" 

4)  A thank you card from the team - Zippie and I were both given a card signed by all the members of the team.  A lovely gesture and, don't tell them, really meant a lot to me.

5)  The team - we were missing a few old hands this year.  But we had some new ones, and also one of the grand originals returned (hard to beleieve that the Support Team is in its tenth year).  And they all did really well.  It becomes very easy for Zippie and me, we get bathed in the reflected glory of a job well done by our team.  I am proud to work with them.

6)  The weather - I don't think I have ever tried to put up a tent in as much rain.  And then discovered that the new tent is poorly designed and gets very damp.  Despite this, the weather improved for the festival itself rather than the set up, and we ended up with sun, plus the most incredible rainbow.

7)  Being accused of stealing the FOMs vehicle - on the second day I was approached by a FOM (Festival Operations Manager) to be told that I was using their vehicle.  Turns out they were sulking because I was using a Nissan Navara whereas they had a beaten up Landrover.  Pleased to say, I kept the Nissan!

Home Comfort

It is somewhat strange being home. Sleeping in a warm bed with a comfy mattress rather than on the hard ground. Having a shower available whenever it is wanted. Putting food in the oven rather than handing over meal vouchers. Real coffee. Alcohol. And what is even stranger is that I am not sure I really missed any of them that much. Yes, lying in a tent wondering if the wind is about to rip it from the ground isn't great. Hearing rain pattering on the canvas and thinking that the shift is going to be a wet one isn't wonderful. But, as a way of life, it isn't bad. There is a lot to be said for the simplicity of a tent.

Round Up

Last night was a rather brief sign off, I was too tired to do anything else, but now I am home I can round up the Greenbelt weekend a bit.

Last night itself was a fairly normal evening. We had some evictions to do, but nothing too difficult. In fact the worst of them was someone who we spotted again later, but this time with a wrist band. It seems he was trying to make a point, however I made the point that we check for passes and evict those without them simply because we are trying to protect those who have paid and who just want a good time.

There was a moment of confusion when a team radio'd in to us that they were mobile again. Zippie took the call, but misheard. So he thought they were reporting in mobile phones being charged in the Grandstand. A five minute rather confused conversation then took place over the radio, with me trying to signal the tell him it was mobiles not that they were mobile.

So, a couple of medical calls, a couple of youths breaking in, a bit too much alcohol here and there (interestingly, I felt that there may have been more alcohol on site but there were less alcohol related incidents), basically the usual stuff.

Considering all the weather forecasts I saw we were extremely lucky, the occassional drizzle but no real rain to speak of, even when it was all around us, the racecourse stayed relatively dry. The wind is possibly another issue. I normally wear a hat at Greenbelt, but not this year, it would never have stayed on.

The team were as awesome as ever. Their understanding of when to joke and when to be serious is part of what makes it so good. We can have fun and enjoy ourselves but the moment something serious turns up then they can switch to the correct mode to handle it. Invaluable. The also have an amazing ability to anticipate where the problems will be. I think that this can be put down to three things. First is that we place them in roughly the right areas when we know things are going to be busy. However, the areas are still large, so the second is that they listen to the radio and consider the implications of conversations so that they are moving in the right direction. Thirdly, but probably most important, there has to be a certain amount of steering from God, just to keep us on the right track. The only real problem with this is that it means the level of challenge for Zippie and myself is rather low now, and I do need a challenge to keep me interested.

We had a few people shadowing us this year which was good. I specifically want to say that we were not actively poaching but were approached by stewards interested in the Support Team. I hope they enjoyed it and they were all welcome. We have so many in jokes that I sometimes worry we can appear a clique. However, it seems that the team see new blood as a new excuse to tell the stories again, so no-one seems to be kept out of the loop for long.

We issued the team with pedometers this year. A bit of a competition to see who walked the furthes. Ignoring the people who shook them up and down in their hands, or who jumped on the spot, it appears that our team walk approximately 8 miles over the 8 hour shift (the record was 10 miles). Armed with that information I dread to think how far we used to walk as Night Security at Castle Ashby or Deane Park but, even so, that in itself deseres a round of applause. Thank you all.

End Of

It's over. Considering how, on Wednesday morning, I couldn't get motivated to come here, it has gone incredibly quickly. I have left the team to go to the beer tent (having learnt that it is best for me not to be there worrying about them) but the last shift is finished and Greenbelt 2009 is finished, except for the packing away of tents.

The Hole Problem

Reports this evening of some locals breaking in through the fence. From the description of where given over the radio I know exactly where it is. It has been used before. A team were dispatched to check it out. Once there they inform Control that there is a hole on the fence. To which Control ask "what kind of hole". I think the team can be forgiven for taking a breath before answering "for someone short of stature". They were then asked if they were still in attendance. While the answer seemed simple enough, basically no because there was a fire truck parked opposite, this then seemed to turn into a prolongued debate about what kind of fire truck it was.
In other news, it was reported that Huggy, Handbag and Chris were all seen running. To be more accurate, in the case of Chris at least, this involved full power but as it was uphill nothing much happened. Exactly how running fits with the normal operational plan for escorting off site is not exactly clear, but I understand that a last minute swerve was required in order to avoid actually catching them and thus invoking extra paper work.

On tenterhooks

Whoops, 4 am and I just woke my daughter up. Have you any idea how difficult it is to get into a tent quietly! All those zips and things. Anyway, I think it was only a brief break in her slumber.
There are a lot of tents at Greenbelt. Of the twenty thousand or so people attending the festival, the majority are campers. A few always manage to lose their tents. Being asked to help find a green tent among a sea of green tents may not rank highly as a favourite pasttime for stewards. So to be volunteered to drive not one but two lost campers when the only thing they can really tell us ia that the tents are not together wasn't an ideal way to end the shift. To be fair, the guy wasn't too bad, but the woman rraly has taken out the book on dizzy blondes. {An aside, these two knew each other from university fifteen years ago, and they didn't know they would be here. How's that for coincidence}. Driving around the curfew campsite she was more interested in offering us muffins (no euphemism intended), trying to sing us a song, and asking what nickname she would have if she was on our team (Happytalk comes to mind). Anyway talking so much that she completely misses her tent despite us asking if she recognises anything, so we end up having to so another sweep. She fails to understand why we can't drop her in the middle of the campsite in the middle of the night with no idea where she is going. No, somewhat like Mastermind question, once started we must finish. And, I am pleased to report that, after a false start when she opened the wrong tent, we did get her back safely.

Cold Thought

There are a lot of reasons I come to Greenbelt. Ignoring the "it's what I always do" one which might suggest something of a rut, I meet with friends, I get to do something very different to my every day, I get challenges that push me beyond my comfort zone. I also get a chance to reflect, to think. About myself, about humanity. Sometimes those reflections are happier than at other times.
This year there is an ice sculpture sitting out on the grass. It is a cube about three foot by three foot by six foot. Inside it are crosses, rossaries, a model of Jesus. It was beautiful, not so much because of how it looked but because of the thought behind it - that over the weekend it would gradually melt and these items would be released. The ice was clear and it shone. When I came across it last night my heart lifted.
But humans are a destructive species. We are yet to learn our lessons, and maybe never will. By this morning this cube tells a different story. Instead of the elements doing their work, and maybe a warm hand making a fleeting impression which will vanish as the surrounding ice melts, the cube has been attacked. The column on the top has been broken off. People are chipping away at the ice to get at the buried treasure. The ice is no longer crystal clear, it is now fractured, stress limes running through it. Instead of smooth molten surfaces there are jagged edges and holes.
Maybe it has turned into more of an analogy than it's makers ever dreamed off. It tells the story of how we let greed blind us to beauty, and how our desire for personal gain means that we deny others the chance to see something that can touch their soul.

Boing

Tonight is the first proper nights work. By that I mean that the Greenbelters are here having fun so we really are looking after them. As for the last couple of years we have a sweep through the campsite in the early hours of the morning to make sure everyone ia settling in, there are no problems, and to just highlight that we have an effective security presence. Again we get to use the golf buggies but, to my disappointment I end I driving the 4x4 and give others the chance to drive the buggies. And they are so much more fun, but it is good to share the experiences and two new drivers had a great time (although moments of concern when decaff couldn't find reverse).
A rather surreal moment, or half an hour in fact, when the main topic in the radio was of a stolen kangaroo. Of the inflatable and not the live type. It was the mascot for the organic beer tent and they were very upset to have lost it. Luckily another of our team found it being carries through the catering area. It was amazing how many people volunteered to take it back, I am sure not swayed by the thought of what the reward might be.
And yes, we may work late hours, but walking back to my tent at four in the morning I get to see a shooting star. How lucky am I!

First Night

Yes, the first night is over. After a hectic day I am settling into my sleeping bag - last nights hotel a distant memory. I. between two training sessions we managed to put up my tent, the wind being less, well, windy basically. Knd of ran out of time for anything else though so not unpacked. I have my sleeping bag and that is about it. Hopefully tomorrow after the mornings training session I will get time to come back and sort it out.
The training went well. We give the stewards some role plays and try to make it all as interactive as possible. It's strange how the dynamics of groups can be so different. Some get a lot more amdram about the role plays than others. The irony of telling stewards to loook after themselves and then realising at 1800hrs that I haven't eaten anything does not escape me. But then I have always seen an irony in telling them not to overdo it, when I full well know that I used to do 23 hours a day when I was a younger steward, and the one hour of sleep was spent in the steward tent just in case something came up. On the plus side it makes me well qualified to say how silly it is, if for no reason other than the drive home at the end.
And then we got the team out for their shift. The first night should be quiet as it is really stewards stewarding other stewards, no campers yet on site. So more a chance to familiarise themselves with the site. This seems to involve quiet a lot of familiarisation with the layout of the tea urn and biscuits. We can afford to cut them some slack though, after this it gets harder and they may not see a cuppa all night. The idea of the Support team is to be able to fill in wherever neede. Tonight saw a first when two were left in charge of Front Desk. Whether we ever will be again remains to be seen but, for the record, I can categorically state that it was not me who put the pig, the sheep and the cow on top of the panelling (clearly stuffed cuddly toys and not real farmyard animals).
When our team are not gainfully employed - in other words being kept running around site - they do seem to create there own amusement in weird and wonderful ways. I still haven't worked out how a theological discussion degenerated to the point of one of the team being a satanist. I do however think that the slaughter of virgins in a Monday night is a terrible waste of virgins.

Chalk It Up

So up and awake, standing outside Rymans. I need to buy a flip chart for the training. I've got the easy job, Zippie has to find a room for us to use. If you're starting to get the impression we aren't fully organised then you may be right. I've been working at Greenbelt for approximately 21 years and yet it always sneaks up on me. Which I have to say seems indredibly ungrateful of it considering my dedicated service! Instead of a flip chart I may try a magic white board (as seen on dragons den woo woo) although not 100% convinced they will work.
While I am up I suspect the others are having a lie in and making the most of hotel facilities. It felt so wring to be in a hotel. I am completely off kilter now.

GB Not GBH

What can only be described as a fairly inauspicious start to Greenbelt this year. Now, in the last week I have driven past Cheltenham Racecourse four or five times. Each time the weather has been poor veering towards miserable. So trying to summon up the sheer willingness to set off this morning wasn't easy. Home was sunny, I could already see from comments on Facebook that Cheltenham was not only NOT sunny, but was also windy. Wind and my tent do not go well together. It's fine once it is up, but for the last two years it nearly took off with someone holding on to it as we were erecting it. So I was not encouraged. Finally I set off, about 4 hours later than I had planned. And just as I arrived in Cheltenham I got a phone call from one of the team. They had been trying to put up a tent and it just wasn't working. They were giving in and going to find a hotel for a night. I got to the racecourse to meet them and sure enough it was a strong wind. Plus it had started to rain. I couldn't exactly ask for help with mine could I. Add to the mix that I had to write a training presentation for tomorrow (I had my previous stewards training session on a USB stick that blew up about 6 months ago, I thought I had back up but it turns out I didn't, or at least not somewhere I could find {although, now thinking about it I may just have realised where} so I got an old version off someone else but it needs tweaking) and the battery was running low on my computer. All in all I felt that the fates were conspiring and a dignified retreat to a hotel was called for. I just remembered why, for a few years, I hired a caravan. Anyways, it feels completely wrong to be at Greenbelt and in a hotel. Hopefully tomorrow will see the tent going up (inbetween running training sessions).

The Question

On the drive home from work I was able to catch a bit of the comedy slot on Radio 4. Recently I have been too late to get it, but today was a nice change. So I was listening to "Mark Watson Makes the World Better" (or something like that). Anyways, he was talking about humility. He commented on having been on "Mock the Week" and for about two weeks afterwards people look at him as thought they recognise him. Then someone actually comes up and asks "Are you famous?". He followed this up by saying "the answers in the question really isn't it, I mean, if you have to ask, it's a bit like asking are you a horse?"

While some of you will wonder why I bothered with this post, I can promise that any member of the Support Team is now rolling on the floor laughing. I nearly crashed the car.

My Boy Lollipop

This isn't my favourite photo in the world but, to be honest, most of my pride has gone long ago. What you see here is me, ready to go on shift, with a MLDU (or Mobile Lolly Dispensing Unit). Traditionally "D" has done a wonderful job of making sure our team get some sweets while they are on duty. It is a fantastic job and involves trying to find them throughout the night. However there was an evening when "D" wasn't going to be able to do this. Rather than let the team down she provided Zippie and myself with these rather fetching devices which are zip up lolly holders, mine a pink dragon (that goes so well with my top) and Zippies a white cow with big pink lips. And in the true spirit of the evening we did wear them all night and use them to provide sweets.

However, on the last night we were supposed to wear them again. Now, I must admit, when I thought we were going to deal with some rather out of hand youths we did take the MLDUs off. I really did not feel that it would have exuded the level of authority we were aiming for. Sadly, once the issue was dealt with, we forgot to put them back on, I don't know how that happened.

Here, I Want A Word With You

Greenbelt doesn't have a very high level of hierarchy, but there is some. At the top are the FOMs, one of which used to run the Night Security team in the days when I was on it. Chief Tonka generally commands respect (while GB is a safe place, last year a fight really broke out, out of a crowd of around 17000 people the two protagonists managed to be standing next to Chief Tonka which meant that a) they were in the wrong place at the wrong time and b) it was over quicker than it started).

So this year Sweetcorn and Staples were trying to escort some lads off site who didn't have wrist bands. Well, I say escort, it was more shepherding them as the lads were a reasonable way ahead. Sweetcorn was looking for some back up in case the lads tried to leg it. I was actually nearby in the 4WD (did I mention I didn't get it stuck in the helicopter field) but she didn't know I was closing in on the situation. In looking around she saw Chief Tonka. Recognising him, and wanting to call on his skills, she uttered the now legendary lines of "You'll do, come with me". The look on her face ten minutes later when she realised what she had said was priceless.

Beep Beep

In a sense of equality (did I tell you I didn't get stuck in the helicopter field while someone else did?), I feel I have to admit to some car related issues at GB. The first is relatively simple, the 4WD tonkas we use have flashing lights on the top, I don't think I have once managed to get into one of the vehicles for the first time and then not need someone to come and show me where the switch is (thank you Stick).

The second is a bit more embarrassing. Driving around site is quite difficult at times. There are a lot of pedestrians who seem to forget that it is generally a good idea to stay out of the way of cars. Road safety for many seems to go out of the window. The tonkas we have often don't have great all round visibility, they are functional vehicles and the back is usually a hard top with little window. So every year when I start using them I am, shall we say, cautious. To be honest, for the first couple of hours we would probably get places quicker if we were on foot at a brisk walk. After a while I get more comfortable and pick up speed. There was a precipitating factor this year. It wasn't that there was an emergency. No. What made me think that I needed to pick up speed was being overtaken by a golf buggy and then in less than a minute being undertaken by another one.

Mud Glorious Mud

Even without being there I am sure you can imagine that camping at Cheltenham racecourse got a bit muddy this year. And the helicopter field was especially so (so much so that a certain leader of the site crew got a 4WD stuck up there, have I mentioned this already, well worth mentioning again, I drove around on a number of occassions with no problem, he had to be towed out). The muddiness was further compounded around the utility points. While GB has come on in many ways since the old pits in the ground for toilets, it still seems strange that the water from the wash areas is allowed straight on to the ground rather than being piped away. Even in a dry year these areas become treachorous. And, by the smell, I suspect some of the portaloos leaking didn't help either.

Anyway, on the last night we had gone up there with one of our teams to sort out a few things. Once sorted it was time to head home. I had parked near a utility point, to make it easier to see the car (fire crew may take some hints here, it helps avoid losing your vehicle). I got in the drivers side. Sweetcorn was on the other side of the roadway, wondering how to make it through the mud (she isn't tall). Rector started his car and came our way. Sweetcorn sensibly stood to the side to let Rector pass. He drove on, but as he did his tyres started slipping in all the mud. There was a revving sound, followed by a splashing sound, then he was gone. Leaving in his wake a Sweetcorn covered from head to foot in mud. I don't think she appreciated my laughing.

Aw

I looked out of the window and saw the empty day-glos on the line. I had a moment of sadness.

Listening

One more GB thing then that's it for the night (you cannot begin to imagine the sheer joy of a decent bed and shower again).

GB is very busy for me and I get little time to see what I would like. And I certainly don't get to think about what I don't know. But on Monday I got over to the grandstand early. I needed coffee and something to eat (midday is breakfast when you work our shifts). So I had some biscuits and my coffee and decided to sit on the grandstand steps while I ate and drank. This meant I could here Pete Rollins in Talk 2. And I listened. Wow. Sometimes something hits home. And this did. In many ways he was voicing my beliefs, but managing to paint them into a picture that I could understand better. I cannot do it justice. But it was about how we would only find paradise, find god, find peace, when we stopped grasping for it. That rather than trying to fill the gaps with God we need to accept the gaps and allow God to be elsewhere. That what was important was how we lived our lives every day rather than on a Sunday. He had some fantastic quotes, but unfortunately I couldn't get the name of who he was quoting. Stop making doing things an excuse for not managing to do anything. Reflect who you want to be.

Here You

It was a quiet year. In many ways not as many stories as in previous years. But still I had the most chaotic, the most relaxed, and the happiest time of the year. I love the moments that my team make happen.

Chief Tonka used to run the nights team when I did nights. I have a lot of respect for him, not least because his day to day job involves carrying a rifle. I hope that I have managed to learn something from him over the years. I freely admit to being somewhat in awe of him (not a feeling I have for many if I am honest). So imagine when I find that a team of mine were trying to evict a few young lads from the site. They were escorting the lads (or possibly shepherding them) in the right direction. Sweetcorn felt that a bit more presence was needed. She spotted Chief Tonka and, in her words, shouted "You'll do, come with me". He has even more of my respect because he did. She has my respect because she wasn't intimidated by his position.